Step 7: RAIN for Others

The facilitator asks the participants to get seated again and the trainer guides them through the final exercise with a soothing, calm voice (20 minutes).   

Sit in a way that allows you to be relaxed and alert. Let go of any habitual tension and allow your body and mind to settle. 

• Then take a few moments to scan through family members and/or friends who are close to you and choose someone who you know is having a tough time.  
  • Connect “with your intention to awaken compassion toward this person.” 

Recognize what is going on 

• Become aware of whatever is most prominent about this person as you reflect on their current challenges. You might recall a mood they are often in, something about their appearance, a regular activity of theirs, or the tone of recent communications. 

Allow the experience to be there without judging 

• Let your sense of this person—of how they are living, feeling, or expressing themselves—be just as it is, without adding any judgment. You can mentally whisper to them:  
• • Yes, I notice you.
  • You are okay the way you are.

Investigate with interest and care 

• With gentleness, curiosity, and interest, now ask more deeply about their experience. Imagine feeling with their heart, viewing the world from their perspective. Explore what is it like being them? 
• (The facilitator asks the following questions one by one and allows time for the participants to mentally answer) 
• • What life circumstances are most distressing to you?
  • What fears, disappointments, or hurts are you carrying?
  • What do you believe about yourself?
  • How does this life situation—and the emotions of fear, hurt, anger, or shame—feel in your heart and body?
  • Where inside do you feel most vulnerable?
  • What does that vulnerable place most want or need right now—from others? From yourself?

Nurture with Compassion 

• Keeping this person and their vulnerability in your heart, expand your awareness to your whole body and to the sounds and space around you. 
• From that inclusive space in your heart, feel this person as part of you and offer what is needed.  
• • Is it acceptance? Being held? Forgiveness? Company? Understanding?  
  • You might also offer care energetically, as a flow of warmth, as an image, or through words. Imagine this person receiving and letting in your care, and envision them healed, happy, and well. 
  • With each breathe going out offer your space, care, or whatever else is needed to them.  

Widening the Circles 

• Now enlarge the field of compassion to include all those who experience the same suffering.  
• • If the person you are reflecting on is grieving a loss, connect with and offer care to all those grieving loss.  
  • If this person feels like a failure, connect with and offer care to all those who suffer this way.  
  • Sense the willingness of your heart to be touched by pain (breathing in), and the vastness of loving awareness that is there, as you offer care to all beings with every breath you take out.  

After the RAIN 

• Let go of all ideas of others and notice the qualities of heart and presence within you. Is there openness? Tenderness? Love? Whatever you find, go and rest there.