Topic 2 Speaking Up

Guidelines for speaking up as the subject or observer

The subject and the observer are grouped together because they are both in the position of speaking up and giving feedback to the initiator. The most critical and important action is pausing the action. Most micro-aggressions and subtle acts of exclusion continue to occur because subject and observers get stuck trying to figure out what to say, and by the time they have some ideas, the moment has passed and they just let it go. Or people spend some time trying to access whether they have the emotional energy for turning a casual conversation into a very different kind of conversation and again by the time they decide the moment has passed.

These are both reasonable deliberations that people have. First, is hard to know what to say. Second, when speaking up, the initiators often react negatively. They often feel embarrassed or defensive. And the subject or observer are hesitant to give feedback, anticipating that negative reaction. No matter what you decide as an individual, as facilitator or as organization, make it something that people will be able to say right in that moment, before they realize what they even want to say about it!