Step 2: Processing Hassle Lines

A discussion about confrontation’s goal à after their first hassle line experience, respondent participants often say they’re immobilized by fear of retribution and rejection. Participants think “confrontation” means offense and hostility and they believe their responses should change the micro aggressor’s beliefs.

Model a few simple verbal responses to ease fears that responses need to be elaborate, detailed, or complicated to change things.

• Examples: “Ouch!”, “Can you explain what you mean by that?” and use of I-statements such as “I’m really uncomfortable with that comment,” or “I find that comment hurtful.”

After the initial hassle-line experience and group processing, let the participants switch roles and partners and practice with another scenario.

After each hassle experience, discuss what it was like for both the speaker and responder, revisiting any emotional reactions you might have. Questions about processing include:

• “Which response was experienced by the ‘micro aggressor’ as convincing, and why?,”
• “What kept you from speaking up in the way you wanted to?,”
• “How to attend to those fears or cognitions?,” and
• “What did you learn today that you want to apply in the future?”

Conclusion.