Topic 6 Replace Defensiveness

Replace defensiveness with curiosity and empathy!

As we mentioned already, we should approach such conversations as opportunities to learn rather than feeling the need to defend ourselves. So, if you find yourself getting feedback about something you did, you should not try to clarify your intent, which you had assumed to be good. Instead, listen to what the other person is saying and think about the impact that it had on them. Initiators usually want to explain their intent (to get to know the person, to be funny, to bond, etc.). At this specific moment, when the action has been paused, we train people to think about impact rather then intent. Disagreements sometimes happen, but ideally we practice this reaction through trainings. To approach the conversations more productively, it is helpful to replace defensiveness with more positive mental states. Going into the conversation with curiosity about other people’s experiences and empathy for their perspective is incredibly helpful. So, put yourself in a listening and learning mindset!