Topic 3 Taking Active Part
Tips for the initiator
In this context, we use the term I“initiator“ for the person who has acted in a micro-aggressive way.
Once the problematic behaviour has been addressed, it is time to listen. The natural human reaction to being confronted with an unpleasant issue will be defensiveness. Some people will become downright angry, others profusely apologetic, and others will just dismiss the person and her unwanted criticism. If your ego is involved in this exchange process, it becomes far more complicated. You need to be prepared not to take whatever comes next personally, otherwise it will most likely turn into a brief verbal argument. You will likely fall into your limbic brain and not think rationally for a short time. If you are initiator, just listen. Stay calm and try to remain as objective as possible. Being called out will likely trigger an emotional defensive response. So, this is the time to remember the various mechanisms that people use to remain calm:
- Take a deep breath.
- Count to ten.
- Find an appropriate opening to ask for a minute and take a short walk (to distress).