The last important aspect of micro aggression is that it is a type of aggression that is not necessarily with the intention to harm. This makes micro aggression difficult to grasp.
More straightforward physical aggression such as punching someone, will always be with the intention to harm someone. However, for micro aggression, this is not the case. To illustrate this, let’s look at another example: women often get jokes that they belong in the kitchen and not at work. This can be a casual ‘joke’ someone makes, with the purpose of it being humorous. Malicious people can still have the intention to harm the other person with this remark, but that isn’t necessary in order for it to be micro aggressive.
Micro aggression can even be presented as a compliment, for example telling someone they speak the language so well for someone from a different ethnic background than the norm. While someone could’ve genuinely be positively surprised by this, the remark is again related to prejudices about a certain group, an ethnic minority in this case.
Since the statement or act is related to the underlying prejudices about a group that is generally disempowered in this context, there is harm either way, whether intended or not. The situation reinforces underlying prejudices and suggests it is ok to keep those prejudices in place.
This aspect of micro aggression probably makes all of us guilty of micro aggression once in a while. That doesn’t mean we are all terrible sexist, racist, you-name-it people. It does mean that there is room for improvement by creating awareness of this phenomenon and its effect on people.